


Bonus Material for A Puzzle Just For Me

by neroli9



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A Puzzle Just For Me, APJFM, APJFM spoilers, Bonus Material, Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, NSFW, Omake, author questions, durian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:41:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neroli9/pseuds/neroli9
Summary: Tumblr asks, one-shots, snippets from the APJFM Discord and more, all related to my explicit mob!Sans/Reader Undertale fanficA Puzzle Just For Me. None of this is necessary to follow the main story.Please beware of spoilers! I advise you to read APJFM up to Chapter 66 before reading this.
Relationships: Sans/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27





	Bonus Material for A Puzzle Just For Me

**Author's Note:**

> We will start with my favorite bit of APJFM bonus material: The APJFM Cast Eats A Durian!
> 
> This was originally [posted to Tumblr on October 17, 2017](https://neroli9.tumblr.com/post/166490909905/i-would-like-for-all-characters-to-experience-the), between chapters 18 and 19. (That is, between Reader and Sasha having their big argument, and Sans calling Reader his girl.) I tried freeze-dried durian for the sake of writing this; Reader's reaction was mine as well.
> 
> lenavis is my incredible beta reader [peonylanterns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peonylanterns/pseuds/peonylanterns), and I wrote this hoping it would convey some part of my immense gratitude towards her for everything she's done to make this story wonderful! <3

_lenavis asked:  
I would like for all characters to experience the wonder of nature that is the durian. If possible, make them eat it. At gunpoint, if necessary._

“So we’re all here to… eat some fruit?” Reader looks around dubiously. She’s sitting between Sans and Sasha at a table covered with paper. Also present are Ionathia, Adaleia, Clarence, Jack and Gracie. There’s an empty chair at the head of the table; Jerren has just left the room to get the durian.

“If it’s lenavis’ idea it’s probably poison or something,” Sasha grumbles.

“Poor dear Sasha! Are you still cross about the bedpan question?” Ionathia asks. Sasha scowls.

“I like this lenavis person,” Adaleia says. “No one else had a question that us peons got to answer.”

“Anyone who lives on the surface doesn’t get to call themselves a peon,” Clarence points out, narrowing his eyes at Adaleia.

“You must be such fun at parties,” Adaleia snaps. “Oh, wait! This is a party and you’re not fun at all.”

“Now, now!” Gracie puts her hands up in a conciliatory gesture. “This is a special occasion! Do let’s put our differences aside–”

“like the fact that one of us is an abomination,” Sans mutters, glancing at the door Jerren has just walked through.

“– and enjoy a new experience together! Doesn’t that sound splendid, Jack darling?”

“I’m always up for something new,” Jack says with a grin. “And I hope you all are too, ‘cause the question specifies ‘at gunpoint’…” He reaches inside his suit coat as if he’s going to draw his gun, then catches Sans’ eye and chuckles awkwardly. “Kidding, kidding!” He glances at Clarence, then at Sans, before sidling up to Reader and stage-whispering “So that’s your type, dollface? Men that can’t take a joke?”

“Offering to shoot people is a lousy joke,” Reader says sourly, crossing her arms over her chest.

The door opens, and Jerren returns with a large, spiky brown sphere on a silver platter. He smiles widely as he places it on the paper-covered table. “Ladies, gentlemen and Sans, I present to you the king of fruits.” The others recoil as the aroma of the ripe durian fills the room…

Ionathia gags. “I – I’m so dreadfully sorry, I –” She flees the room, her hand over her mouth.

Reader doesn’t look particularly regretful as she follows, mumbling “Just gonna make sure she’s all right.”

“Are you… well, pardon my bluntness, but are you quite in your right mind, Prince Jerren?” Adaleia asks.

“The durian truly is considered a delicacy, in countries where it’s grown. It just takes a little getting used to.”

“'A little getting used to,’ the man says,” Adaleia mumbles. “It’s a godforsaken stink bomb.”

“Lemme see that thing,” Jack says, holding out his hands. Jerren passes him the fruit, and he brings it to his nose and takes a whiff, then screws up his face. “Whoo! That’s ripe.”

Gracie leans over to smell it, then pulls back. “It’s awful. Simply awful. Like rotting onions and pineapple and feet all together.”

“And farts,” Jack adds. Don’t forget the farts.“ He tosses it in the air a few times, not betraying any pain as the spiky, heavy fruit lands in his palms. “Hell of a snack. Maybe five, six pounds?”

“Five and a half,” Jerren says.

“Here, Dead Eyes,” Jack says, tossing the fruit to Sans. Sans, too, doesn’t appear to feel pain when the spikes hit his bones, but the onlookers flinch. “’S all right. He’s got this creepy pain tolerance,” Jack explains.

“most people just call them bones,” Sans says as he examines the fruit. “too bad i can’t try it. sure, it smells godawful, but monsters eat some weird stuff, as humans reckon it. maybe i’d actually like it.”

“Very true,” Jerren says. “The first time I was served snail pie, I could barely choke down a single bite. I think it’s delicious now, but it took some getting used to.”

“Snail pie! How very strange,” Gracie exclaims.

“My kind hostess was rather hurt by my reaction, that first time. She was only mollified when I praised her butterscotch-cinnamon pie.” He glances at Sans, whose already forbidding expression darkens further.

Reader returns. “Ionathia says she’s just going to sit this one out, if we don’t mind. She’s a little under the weather.”

“The poor dear,” Gracie says, raising her eyebrows.

Jerren shakes his head. “How unfortunate for her.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Reader mumbles, sitting next to Sans. “Can I see?”

“if ya like. but i don’t think you’ll find this fruit a- _peel_ -ing,” Sans answers with a grin, passing it to her. There’s groans from the group, particularly from Sasha, and his smile widens. “aww. was that a _berry_ bad pun?”

“You’re plunging me in the _pit_ of despair,” Reader answers, holding the durian gingerly and taking a cautious sniff. “Whew!”

“Your puns are out of _date_ , Sans,” Jerren chimes in, also grinning. “I don’t know how I’m going to en- _durian_ them.”

Sans narrows his eyes. “how many resets did it take to make those sound natural?” he mutters under his breath.

“It’s more like some sort of medieval weapon than a fruit,” Reader muses, turning it over carefully in her hands and looking at it with distaste. “Those spiky ball things, I mean…”

“Morning stars,” Jerren prompts her.

“Yes, exactly, morning stars! At least those wouldn’t stink if you got hit with one…”

“I wanna see,” Sasha says, holding her hands out to Reader. She winces when the durian lands in them. “Oh wow that’s spiky. And people eat this?”

“It’s an acquired taste, but its fans consider it a delicacy,” Jerren says.

“Huh.” She lifts it to her nose, then shakes her head. “I can’t really smell it. Here, take it,” Sasha says to Adaleia, passing it before she has a chance to say no.

“Ow! It stung me!” Adaleia cries, passing it on just as quickly to Clarence. “Why are we going to eat this unholy monstrosity again? Just because the resident provocateur thinks it would be funny?”

“Basically, yes,” Jerren says.

“Well, I hope our suffering is sufficiently amusing,” Adaleia says with a scowl.

Clarence takes a whiff, then recoils. “Merciful Father that’s revolting. And…” He runs his finger over the spikes. “Just as forbidding on the outside.” He looks down at the durian, frowning, then looks Jerren in the eye. “How much did it cost to import this?”

Adaleia looks scandalized and makes a move as if to stop Clarence from asking such a rude question, but Jerren answers in a calm tone, “About as much as you make in a month.”

“That’s more disgusting than anything about this fruit,” Clarence says. “I think I’ll pass.” He hands the fruit back to Jerren and stands up.

“Oh? I was hoping you would say grace for us,” Jerren says.

Clarence stops short. “Er, well…”

Jerren gestures invitingly at the durian. “If any fruit could use a blessing, it’s surely this one. So far it’s been described as godforsaken, godawful and unholy, and we haven’t even opened it yet.”

Clarence can’t help but smile. “All right.” He sits back down and holds the durian in his hands, bowing his head. “Mother and father above the clouds, we are gathered here today to set aside our differences and partake of one of your most precious gifts. We give humble thanks for the labor of the men and women who planted and tended the tree, harvested the fruit and brought it to us today. Let this your creation remind us that not every challenge you place in front of us is a pleasant one, but as you have seen fit to create this fruit, so too have you created the forces that shape our lives and characters. We cannot necessarily see the value in the experiences that challenge us, yet there is worth in all that you have created. And let us all spare some thought for the children of New Ebott, far too many of whom cannot afford so much as a bag of plums while those to whom they look for leadership indulge themselves with rotten-smelling fruit that you could kill a man with. Amen.”

Sasha can’t help snickering at this last point, and Jack laughs outright. “Clarence my man, I’d go to your church.”

“I’m no preacher,” Clarence responds. “Thinking about going into politics though.”

“There ya go! Shake the bastards up a bit,” Jack replies with a good-natured grin. “You got my vote. Now how d'ya open that dang thing?”

“With a hammer, perhaps?” Gracie says, eyeing the durian. “Like a coconut…”

“Maybe a really big knife?” Sasha suggests, her eyes lighting up. “Right down the middle.” She pantomimes slicing into the durian with relish.

“Allow me to demonstrate,” Jerren says, taking the durian back from Clarence. He studies the fruit for a moment, tracing his finger from one end of the fruit to the other. Then he pokes his fingers into a particular spot on the fruit, slowly splitting it along a hidden seam. As the seam opens, he works his fingers in deeper, careful to avoid the spikes, then pulls the two sides apart to reveal the fruit’s creamy yellow flesh. He splits off a lobe of the fruit as the onlookers look on wide-eyed.

“You make it look so easy,” Sasha says. Jerren grins as he opens up another lobe of the fruit, then another.

“The smell is unbearable,” Adaleia grumbles. “Surely this all must be some horrid joke?”

“Reserve judgment until you’ve tried the flesh,” Jerren says as he removes the flesh from the rinds and cuts it into smaller pieces. “There’s nine of us, but Ionathia is indisposed and Sans is monstrous, so…”

“you are NOT one to talk, buddy,” Sans mutters as Jerren arranges seven pieces of durian on the platter.

Jerren just smiles, then pushes the platter onto the middle of the table. “Who’s first?”

Everyone looks at each other. Sans leans back in his chair.

“I am curious,” Reader says, reaching for a piece. She sniffs it, then drops it on the paper covering the table in front of her, gagging. “Whew! Dunno if I’m that curious. Ugh!”

Sans takes the piece she dropped and passes it in front of his nasal cavity, then gives it a tentative lick. “yeah, that’s something. reminds me of sentry duty down at the dump actually. breaking up fights between the junkpickers, stepping in god knows what. you all enjoy.” He sets it back down on the paper-covered table.

“Why would anyone eat such a horrid thing, anyway?” Gracie asks, touching her hand to her forehead as if in physical pain.

“The fruit itself is unlike anything else,” Jerren explains. “It has a higher fat content than most fruit, giving it a buttery texture. At its best, it’s both fruity and creamy, with complex undertones of caramel and nuts. And it’s thought to be an aphrodisiac.”

This makes Jack reach for a piece. He eyes it suspiciously, then glances at his fiancée. “Do I feed it to her, or eat it myself?”

“You make me eat that and you’re never touching me again,” Gracie shrieks, wagging her finger at Jack.

He chuckles. “Guess I gotta be the guinea pig then.” He pops the whole piece in his mouth, then immediately gags it back into his hand. “Whew! That’s potent,” he manages to get out between coughs before grabbing his glass of water and downing every drop.

There’s laughter from around the table, and Jack grins too. “Let no one say a damn fruit got the better of Bear of the Carpainter Family!” He holds his nose and swallows the piece of durian in one go, then reaches for Gracie’s water and chugs the entire glass. He pats his chest, still swallowing hard, and makes a face. “There. I feel it working already!” He takes a squealing Gracie into his arms and crushes her to him, smacking his lips at her.

“Don’t you dare! Your breath smells like that horrid fruit!” she squeals, laughing and squirming as he smacks his lips ever closer to her face. “You let me go this instant, you brute!”

He laughs and plants an exaggerated kiss on her cheek. “Give it a try, baby!”

“Just a tiny bite,” she allows, climbing onto his lap and reaching for a piece of fruit. “Ugh! It’s all slimy.” She pinches off a tiny bit of durian, scrunches up her face, and pops it in her mouth. She retches and grabs her napkin, bringing it to her mouth to spit out the fruit as she gags and coughs. “Oh – oh, it’s awful,” she cries.

Jack laughs heartily. “Not gonna serve it at the wedding, huh?”

“Not on your life!” She shudders.

He puts his arms around her and whispers something in her ear, and she blushes and giggles, punching him lightly on the arm.

Jack gestures at the others. “Who’s next, huh?”

Sasha mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like “not gonna let that airhead show me up.” She reaches for a slice, breaking off a piece, then glowers at it and screws up her face. “Jerren, I may not have very long to live,” she announces in her most dramatic voice, holding the back of her hand to her forehead, “and if this turns out to be my last meal, I’m gonna come back and haunt you.”

“I have a feeling that if I actually try it, it’s going to be my last meal,” Adaleia grumbles. “I’ve never smelt anything so bad in my life.”

“I suppose you’ve never taken out the trash or changed a diaper before,” Clarence says, looking critically at her.

Adaleia looks back at him just as critically. “Oh, am I rich and spoiled? My goodness, I would have never known if you hadn’t been so kind as to inform me! Allow me to express my gratitude by donating to your campaign for New Ebott dogcatcher.”

“Will you two shut up? I’m having a dramatic moment here,” Sasha grumbles. She pops the piece of durian in her mouth and chews thoughtfully. “It’s kinda slimy and sweet,” she says, making a face. “Of course, I can’t smell it, that probably helps.” She swallows, then drains her glass of water. “Ugh. Well, at least now I can say I’ve tried it.” She shudders. “I wonder why anyone ever thought to eat it in the first place? You’d have to be really desperate. It’s like, it looks scary and off-putting on the outside, but when you see what it’s like on the inside, it’s…” She gives Sans a meaningful look. “It’s even worse. It’s not even, like, neutral. It’s actively sickening. It has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.”

Sans raises his eyebrows. “can’t help but feel like you’re trying to make a point here.”

“No idea what you mean,” she answers airily. “Stepstool Man,” she adds under her breath with disdain. She nods at Reader. “Your turn. Unless you’re chicken.”

“I think I might be pretty chicken,” Reader murmurs, picking up her piece of durian and squinting at it, her face screwed up in disgust. “But I hate to disappoint lenavis… Here goes.” She takes a small bite and gags immediately, cringing and coughing. She drops the rest of her piece and drains her glass of water, then reaches for Sans’. “Good lord, that’s the worst thing I ever tasted,” she mumbles.

“You barely tried it,” Jerren points out.

“Yes, and that was enough,” she replies between swigs of Sans’ water.

Sans pats her on the back. “you’re a good sport, kid.”

“And now she’s pumped full of aphrodisiacs,” Jack says jovially, winking at Sans. “Bet she’s gonna jump your bones tonight! Get it? Jump your bones! ‘Cause you’re a skeleton!” He guffaws, and Gracie giggles, clinging to him. Reader looks down, her expression deeply embarrassed.

“that’s enough,” Sans says in a low voice, narrowing his eyes.

Sasha looks nauseated, making a face that’s even more exaggerated than the one she made while eating the durian, while Jerren’s blandly pleasant expression is momentarily replaced with revulsion.

“Can’t take a joke ‘bout your sick little fetish, huh?” Jack says, his smile nasty. “Well, ain’t none of my business what you get up to with your –”

As Jack talks, Sasha growls and Sans gets to his feet –

“I think I might be pretty chicken,” Reader murmurs, picking up her piece of durian and squinting at it, her face screwed up in disgust. “But I hate to disappoint lenavis… Here goes.” She takes a small bite and gags immediately, cringing and retching. She drops the rest of her piece and drains her glass of water, then reaches for Sans’. “Good lord, that’s the worst thing I ever tasted,” she mumbles.

“You barely tried it,” Jerren points out, smiling to himself.

“Yes, and that was enough,” she replies between swigs of Sans’ water.

Sans pats her on the back. “you’re a good sport, kid.”

“And now –” Jack starts.

Jerren cuts him off. “Right, then! Adaleia, Clarence, I believe you two are the only ones left…” Jack looks sour at the interruption, but contents himself with feeling up Gracie’s ass. She giggles and rests her head on his shoulder.

Adaleia sighs. “Thanks for nothing, lenavis. Next time, ask for us to have a wine and cheese tasting, or something. If that wouldn’t be too offensive to his revolutionary sensibilities, of course,” she says, gesturing at Clarence.

“Or lenavis could ask for you all to help out with one of my classes,” Clarence says. “It’d be an educational experience for all of you. You and your other heiress friend can read the kids some stories. I’m sure you know your history,” he says, nodding at Jerren. “You can teach them art and music,” he continues, gesturing at Reader. “Your sister can help me grade homework. Those two,” he says, pointing at Sans and Jack, “well… they can be cautionary examples.”

Jack guffaws at this. “You got me there. I dropped out of school when I was thirteen.”

“i can teach'em anything they wanna know 'bout physics,” Sans says with a grin. “just don’t get me started on philosophy. you’d wind up with a class full of little nihilists.”

“Shall we get this over with?” Adaleia asks Clarence, splitting a piece of durian and handing half to him.

“Here’s to what may be the weirdest party I’ve ever been to in my life,” he says, holding up his piece.

“There’s one thing you and I agree on,” Adaleia says, touching her piece to his as if making a toast. “And I’ve been to a party where she –” Adaleia gestures to Reader. “–caught her skirt on a nail, and it ripped and came clean off.”

“Addy!” Reader glares at her as the others laugh.

“Here goes nothing,” Adaleia says, taking a tiny bite of the durian. She coughs a few times, swallowing hard, then takes another small bite. “Astonishingly enough, it’s not that bad,” she says, raising her eyebrows. “It’s like… fruity cream cheese with caramelized onions. You just have to get past the smell.”

Clarence takes a small bite of his piece, then makes a face, swallowing hard and gagging. He reaches for his glass of water and drinks the whole thing before replying “Wow, now I know surface folk are crazy. You had me thinking it might be all right, but… nope. Revolting. Here, you can have my piece.”

Adaleia waves him off. “I didn’t say I liked it *that* much. I’d much rather have some grapes, or an orange, or something decent like that. I’m just saying, it’s not as bad as you all make it out to be.” She puts her piece back onto the platter in the middle of the table, then sips her water.

Jerren stands up, gathering up the pieces of durian and putting them back on the platter. “Right, then! Now everyone’s tried it, there’s cookies for everyone in the next room down, so as to escape the smell. I’ll meet you all there in a few minutes.”

The group files out of the room, and Jerren reaches for a partially eaten slice of durian. He takes a bite and leans back in his chair, savoring it with his eyes closed. Then he glances over at you and raises an eyebrow. “What’s that look for? Durian is my favorite fruit.”

**Author's Note:**

> This bonus material doesn’t make up entirely for the APJFM hiatus, but it will keep you all engaged! I intend to post something at least every month.
> 
> Again, this is for my main fic [A Puzzle Just For Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6776461/chapters/15487282), which I'll remind you is extremely explicit, so mind the tags. And don’t forget, you can also read the rough draft of the first Sans/Reader fic I ever wrote, [The Skeleton and the Goddess](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21673999).


End file.
